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Which do you tend to AVOID most?
Stress and Pain
Your Personality style is Comfort or Avoidance (You’re like the Turtle)
Make jokes. Intellectualize. Do only the things you already do well. Avoid new experiences. Take the path of least resistance. Leave sentences incomplete. Avoid risks. Hide so no one can find you aren't perfect. Overreact. Complain. Cry. Scream. Micromanage and spoil others. Don’t ask for help. Tuck back into your shell. Attack like a snapping turtle. Close up your heart.
People enjoy being around you. Flexible. Do what you do well. Easy going. Look out for self and own needs. Can count on others to help. Make others feel comfortable. Can be a person of courage and grace when you aren’t seeking comfort.
Suffer boredom. Lazy, lack of productivity. Hard to motivate. Don't do your share. Invite special attention and service. Worry a lot but no one knows how scared you are. Lose out on the contact of sharing. Juggle uncomfortable situations rather than confront them. Wait to be taken care of instead of becoming independent. Invites others to feel stressed.
Not interrupting. Inviting your comments. Listening quietly. Leaving room for you. Showing faith. Encouraging small steps.
Create a routine for yourself. Show up and stick around, even if all you do at first is watch. Speak up and ask questions or say what you want instead of assuming. Tell others how you are feeling. Ask someone to do things with you at your pace till you feel comfortable. Share your talents with others.
Criticism and Ridicule
Your Personality style is Control (You’re like the Eagle)
Hold back. Boss others. Organize. Argue. Get quiet and wait for others to coax you. Do it yourself. Stuff your feelings. Cover all the bases before you make a move. Complain, sigh, get angry. Procrastinate. Explain/defend. Engage in physical activity. Put up a wall.
Good leader and crisis manager. Assertive. Persistent. Well organized. Productive. Law abiding. Get what you want. Able to get things done and figure things out. Take charge of situations. Wait patiently. Can be a person of generosity and equanimity when you aren’t seeking control.
Lack spontaneity. Social and emotional distance. Want to keep others from finding weak spots. Invite power struggles. End up sick. Avoid dealing with issues when you feel criticized. Get defensive instead of open. Sometimes wait for permission. Critical and fault finding.
Saying AOK. Giving you choices. Letting you lead. Asking how you feel. Giving you time and space to sort out your feelings.
Remind yourself that you are not responsible for another. Stop trying to prevent problems you don’t have and take a small action step. Stop and listen to others instead of withdrawing. Think about what you want and ask for it. Listen instead of getting defensive. Ask for help and choices. Delegate.
To be in control even though others can be better, smarter. To get respect, cooperation and loyalty. For others to have faith in you and give you permission to do what you want. To have choices and go at your own pace.
Rejection and Hassles
Your Personality style is Pleasing (You’re like the Chameleon)
Act friendly. Say yes and mean no. Give in. Worry about what others want more than your needs. Gossip instead of confronting directly. Try to fix everything and make everybody happy. Beg for understanding. Complain. Accommodate. Work hard. Catastrophize. Get silent, like a deer in the headlights. Be super reasonable and avoid your feelings. Whine or feel sorry for yourself. Make lists.
Sensitive to others. Have lots of friends. Considerate. Compromiser. Non-threatening. Likely to volunteer. People count on you. Usually see positives in people and things. Can be a loving and loveable person when you aren’t seeking approval.
Invite revenge cycles and others to feel rejected. Feel resentful and ignored. Get in trouble for trying to look good while doing badly. Not have things the way you want them. Reduction in personal growth. Loss of sense of self and what pleases self.
Telling you how much they love you. Touching you a lot. Showing approval. Showing appreciation. Letting you know you won't be in trouble if you say how you really feel.
Be more open and honest and say what you are thinking and feeling. Say no and mean it. Let others have their feelings and let their behavior be about them and not you. Spend time alone and give up trying to please everyone. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or for another perspective.
Meaningless and Unimportance
Your Personality style is Superiority (You’re like the Lion)
Put down people or things. Knock yourself. Talk about the absurdity of life. Correct others. Overdo. Take on too much. Worry about always doing better. Operate on should. Sidetrack and shift the playing field. Cry, scream or complain to others. Dig in and get stubborn. Be indecisive. Become the expert. Seek advocates. Fight whether or not it is necessary.
Knowledgeable. Precise. Idealistic. Get a lot done. Make people laugh. Receive a lot of praise, awards and prizes. Don't have to wait for others to tell you what to do to get things done. Have a lot of self-confidence. Can be a person of depth and significance when you aren’t seeking status.
Overwhelmed, over-burdened. Invite others to feel incapable and insignificant. Seen as a know-it-all or rude and insulting and don't know it's a problem. Never happy because you could have done more or better. Have to put up with so many imperfect people around you. Sometimes you don't do anything. Spend too much time doubting your worth.
Telling you how significant you are. Thanking you for your contributions. Helping you get started with a small step. Telling you you're right.
Stop looking for blame and start working on solutions. Give credit where credit is due, including to yourself. Look at what you have instead of what you don’t have. Show an interest in others and be curious about them. Go for a walk, exercise, eat something healthy.